They grow up so fast. Looking at pictures of my nephew at his first birthday party makes me laugh and it makes me want to cry. I want to be at home so I can go to family things like this, but when I'm home I want to be far away. I love Cincinnati and I'm close to my family. I talk to my parents for several hours each week, but at the same time I really like living in Tahara. I'm drawn to the challenge of living abroad. I love the language and the kanji. And let's face it, the celebrity factor is nice. But still...I'm always at odds with myself.
My trip to Thailand this Christmas was almost cancelled and my back up plan was to go home for the holidays. When the Thai trip was back on, I almost cried. The idea of going home for Christmas sounded so much better than even beaches, massages, Thai food and elephant rides just so I could watch my nephew roll around in the wrapping paper and try to grab the ornaments off the tree.
When I get like this I have to remind myself of the perks of this job. I am paying off my loans. I have time to read and study the things I like to study rather than listening to customers complain about how we shorted them on toilet paper or the logo on their shirts is off. I get an insane amount of time to travel. I have real friends here. I can walk or ride my bike just about anywhere, including the beach.
And there is Facebook, email, my webcam, and my digital phone for when I get homesick. Other than the fact that a one year old can't really use any of those, it's an almost ideal situation.